RESOURCES
Thinking about hurting yourself or know someone who is?
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline anytime, 24/7:
1.800.273.TALK (8255)
FIND RESOURCES, TAKE ACTION
10 Ways for Civilians to Really Support Our Troops
Quick Tips for Organizing Programs to Help Veterans & Families in Your Community
10 Ways for Military Spouses to Connect with Help & Support
Quick Tips for Surviving Deployment
Resources for Military Families
A comprehensive list of books and online links
to help you find support and information about:
Military Family Life
Deployment
Homecoming Issues
Bereaved or Physically Wounded
Resources for Civilian Contractor Families
War, Peace & Civil-Military Relations
Want to suggest a resource for the list?
Tell Kristin about it.
10 WAYS FOR CIVILIANS
TO REALLY SUPPORT OUR TROOPS
Yellow ribbons and American flags are just the beginning. Support the troops by supporting their families.
#1
Thank the spouses for their sacrifice.
Write a letter to the editor, say it out loud, send a card, or leave a yellow rose. Just keep it short and simple. Intense feelings of sadness and fear lie just beneath the surface of even the strongest-looking homefront spouse and too much emotional sympathy, or worse, pity, may undo their hardwon self-control. If they’re in public, they may not appreciate it if you make them burst into tears.
#2
Leave opinions about the war at the door.
Military spouses are as diverse in their beliefs as civilians. But unlike civilians, military spouses may be relying on their beliefs about the war, for or against, to help them cope with the fear and sadness they feel while their loved one is in harm’s way. Try not to rob them of that comfort. Instead, just listen.
#3
Donate to organizations that support service members and their families.
Many of the organizations listed under the resources section below welcome your donations of time, skills, and money. Other opportunities to help include Operation: A Bit of Home, which sends needed items to the troops and was founded by a homefront spouse profiled in While They’re at War. For a long list of worthy organizations, visit www.OurMilitary.mil/help.shtml.
#4
Friends, family members, and neighbors can give them a break.
During deployment, homefront life is often isolated and grueling. Make your offers of help specific — invite them to dinner, offer to mow the lawn, or arrange to watch the kids for an evening.
#5
Employers can give military spouses more flexible hours…
…before, during, and immediately after a deployment, understanding that the spouses’ home demands have doubled during this time. If activated National Guard members and reservists have to take a cut in pay while they’re deployed, employers can make up the difference and reduce the financial stress on the family. And employers can actively recruit and hire veterans, especially disabled veterans.
#6
Educators and daycare providers can turn to the Military Child Education Coalition…
… www.militarychild.org, to learn how to identify children facing a parent’s deployment and help them get through it.
#7
Professionals can offer pro bono services…
…such as the Vermont lawyers who donated free legal services to families with a deployed service member. If you’re trained in counseling and wish to volunteer, sign up at www.GiveAnHour.org, or try contacting any of the counseling organizations listed on this website.
#8
Churches, clubs, and book groups can develop support groups and social events…
… especially around holidays when a deployed family member’s absence may be extra hard. Symbolic support means a lot, too — one quilting club made quilts for local preschool-aged children with a deployed parent. Book groups can invite military spouses for a joint discussion of While They’re at War by Kristin Henderson, but do not forget suggestion #2! (See above) See how some churches are reaching out to military families:
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
www.ncmaf.org/resources.htm
#9
Educate yourself about the services available to military families.
Become a resource yourself! Many military families are unaware of the available services and struggle alone. Family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, police officers, social workers, clergy, teachers, and community service providers can help create a safety net of support if they encounter a struggling military family or combat vet and know how to steer them toward help. Check out the resources below, including 10 Ways for Military Families to Connect With Help & Support, Quick Tips for Surviving Deployment, and Resources for Military Families. Find out how entire communities are educating themselves in an effort to prevent the decades of suffering that isolated combat vets and families endured after previous wars.
#10
Stay engaged!
Make sure your military reflects the country you want America to be. Pay attention when military issues come up in the news, compare information from a variety of sources, write letters to the editor, and hold your elected leaders accountable for how they use your military and how well they support the warfighters, families, and veterans who serve you. Finally, write Congress and tell them you support increased funding for veterans programs. Here’s how to reach your elected leaders:
Your representative in the US House of Representatives
Your senators in the US Senate
Your president
QUICK TIPS FOR ORGANIZING PROGRAMS
TO HELP VETERANS & FAMILIES IN YOUR COMMUNITY
Communities are coming together to educate themselves on the challenges facing veterans and their families and form networks of support. Typically, members of the military community join with mental health experts, community service providers, police officers, religious leaders, educators, and concerned citizens to discuss the issues, identify needs, and take action. The following is a list of examples and resources to help you do the same in your own community.
Vermont’s grassroots network of support for returning veterans and their families has become a national model. Learn more at:
The Military, Family & Community Network
Read the book:
Welcome Them Home, Help Them Heal: Pastoral Care and Ministry with Service Members Returning from War
welcomethemhomebook.com
Find support for local communities that want to help returning combat veterans and their families at:
The Veterans and Families Homecoming Support Network
The Citizen-Soldier Support Program
Access educational resources on post-traumatic stress disorder at:
The National Center for PTSD
Veterans in Massachusetts contribute to their own healing as they visit civilian schools to talk about their military experiences and share important life lessons. Learn more about the Veterans Education Project by calling 413.253.4947, sending an email, or on the web:
vetsed.org
North Carolina worked with the Military Child Education Coalition to develop 2-day events that teach educators how to help the children of deployed National Guard members and reservists. Learn more at:
www.ncpublicschools.org/militarysupport
For help getting started on an event in your community, contact:
Laurie Slone, PhD
Assoc. Director for Research & Education
National Center for PTSD
Dartmouth Medical School
802.296.5132
email
10 WAYS FOR MILITARY SPOUSES
TO CONNECT WITH HELP & SUPPORT
Knowledge is power!
#1
Military OneSource
Information hotline available 24/7. Get answers to anything, from how to find childcare providers to plumbers to referrals for free confidential counseling with a civilian therapist outside the military system. Call 1.800.342.9647 or visit www.militaryonesource.com. There’s a phone number for those stationed overseas, too.
#2
Community services center
Most military installations have one. It’s the resource for all family support services, together in one place, including the military relief organizations, such as Army Emergency Relief. Call information for the number or ask where it is at the gate and just walk in. The National Guard also runs hundreds of Family Assistance Centers nationwide for all military families. Visit www.guardfamily.org to find the nearest one.
#3
Family support program
Most units have a group of spouse volunteers who can hook you up with support services and social activities. If they haven’t called you already, they probably don’t know you’re out there. Call the unit headquarters and they’ll be glad to put you in touch.
#4
Rear detachment or rear party
These are the military personnel that every unit leaves behind when it deploys. Visit or call the unit’s headquarters for help and referrals.
#5
Chaplains
They provide confidential counseling and referrals. Talk to the chaplain in your unit, or at a chapel on base, or at the Family Life or Religious Ministries Center. Keep going until you find one you’re comfortable with. Before opening up, make sure the chaplain’s definition of confidentiality is the same as yours.
#6
Military health clinics
The staff can set you up with a whole network of services. Be sure to tell them if you’re there for a deployment-related issue, to maximize the help you receive.
#7
Schools
Talk with your child’s teacher and guidance counselor for support and referrals. If they don’t have information, they can probably find out who does.
#8
Online
Check out the resources below for a comprehensive list of deployment support resources. Join an advocacy group like the National Military Family Association, www.militaryfamily.org. Or for informal support, join an online group at www.militarywives.com (it’s for husbands, too), or search for groups centered around specific military installations at msn.com and yahoo.com.
#9
Senior military spouses
They’ve been through it before and can provide advice and encouragement.
#10
Community organizations
If the last thing you want to do is deal with another person in uniform, try a civilian church, temple, or mosque, a community counseling center, or services like www.OperationHomefront.net, www.nami.org (local mental health support groups), or www.GIRightsHotline.org, 1.877.447.4487.
QUICK TIPS FOR SURVIVING DEPLOYMENT
One of the best ways to get yourself through a wartime deployment is to connect with other people who are going through the same thing. Give both official and unofficial support groups a try — check the resources below for ways to connect online.
But even if you’re not a social extrovert, the key is to stay busy with activities that uplift you and help you grow.
**Take a trip
**Set a goal for personal improvement
**Complete unfinished projects
**Start a new hobby
**Learn a new skill — for instance, take a class in karate or CPR or poetry appreciation
**Renew your spiritual life — deployment is often a time of deep searching so go ahead and search!
**Avoid friends or family who bring you down
**Catch up on your reading
**Exercise or practice yoga
**Breathe! Whenever you feel stressed, breathe in deeply, then exhale till your lungs are empty. Do this 5 times. It pumps healthy oxygen into your blood and has a soothing effect on the body.
There are more tips, in depth, in Kristin’s article, Deployment Survival Guide.
RESOURCES FOR MILITARY FAMILIES
Here’s a list of books and online links that will help you find support and information about:
Homecoming & Psychological Wounds
Bereaved or Physically Wounded
MILITARY FAMILY LIFE:
BOOKS & ONLINE RESOURCES
Help! I’m a Military Spouse — I Get a Life, Too!: How to Craft a Life for YOU as You Move with the Military, by Kathie Hightower and Holly Scherer, www.militaryspousehelp.com.
The Homefront Club: The Hardheaded Woman’s Guide to Raising a Military Family, by Jacey Eckhart
Invisible Women: Junior Enlisted Army Wives, by Margaret C. Harrell, RAND, 2001
Married to the Military, by Meredith Leyva
Military Compensation in the Age of Two-Income Households, by E. Casey Wardynski, RAND, 2000
Piper Reed: Navy Brat, a three-book series for children about life on the move by Kimberly Holmes Willis
Where I Live, a children’s book about moving from place to place by Eileen Spinelli
Working Around the Military: Challenges to Military Spouse Employment and Education, by Margaret C. Harrell, et al, RAND National Defense Research Institute, 2004
www.militaryonesource.com
1.800.342.9647
Information hotline available 24/7 for military members and their families. Get answers to ANYTHING, from how to find childcare providers to plumbers. Also, get referrals for free confidential counseling with a civilian therapist outside the military system.
www.nmfa.org
www.ausa.org
Support and advocacy for military families, plus info on your rights and benefits from the National Military Family Association and the Association of the US Army’s Family Programs.
www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil
Official homefront resources for military families.
www.milspouse.org
Official career, education, and relocation support for military spouses.
milpfc.org
Support for same-sex couples and families from the Military Partners & Families Coalition.
stripes.com/blogs/spouse-calls/spouse-calls-1.9571
Military spouses connect with others, get tips, and find resources with help from Stars & Stripes Spouse Calls columnist.
www.military.com/spouse
Career advice for military spouses and lists of available jobs with military-family-friendly employers.
www.militaryspousehelp.com
Craft a life for yourself as a military spouse. Practical tips from authors and military spouses Kathie Hightower and Holly Scherer.
www.cinchouse.com
http://blogs.stripes.com/blogs/spousecalls
www.militarywives.com
www.military.com/spouse
www.marriedtothearmy.com
www.militarymoms.net
www.marineparents.com
www.emilitary.org/milpar.html
A sample of the peer support that’s available for spouses and parents of military personnel. (Militarywives.com is for wives and husbands; likewise Militarymoms.us is for moms and dads.)
www.milblogging.com
Peer support and first-person news reports from the military community.
www.mfri.purdue.edu
Information and research about military families from the Military Family Research Institute.
DEPLOYMENT:
BOOKS & ONLINE RESOURCES
Friends for Life: Strangers Brought Together by the War in Iraq, by Jennifer MackInday & Patti Donahue, the sister and mother of deployed soldiers — one of the only current homefront memoirs from the parent’s and sibling’s perspective
The Military Father: A Hands-on Guide for Deployed Dads, by Armin Brott
Surviving Deployment: A Guide for Military Families, by Karen Pavlicin
While You Were Away, a picture book for children with a deployed parent by Eileen Spinelli
Your Soldier, Your Army, by Vicki Cody — written for parents of service members by the mother of two service members and free from the Family Programs directorate of the Association of the US Army. Click on the highlighted word “free”, above, and send an email from the AUSA website to request a free copy of this or any other AUSA publication.
Deployment Survival Guide
Read Kristin’s article, full of quick tips for getting through it.
Anticipatory Grief
Read Kristin’s article about this common reaction to the experience of sending a loved one to war — and how to successfully cope with it.
www.militaryonesource.com
1.800.342.9647
Information hotline available 24/7 for military members and their families. Get help for any problem, from finding childcare in your area to referrals for free confidential counseling with a civilian therapist outside the military system.
www.jointservicessupport.org
Help and support for all military family members, including National Guard and Reserve families. Click the “Change” tab at the top to select your location and find resources in your area.
www.ecrc.navy.mil
www.ia.navy.mil
1.877.364.4302
Navy individual augmentee families, don’t endure deployment alone. Find support, info, and referrals 24/7 from the Expeditionary Combat Readiness Center.
www.focusproject.org
Practical stress management for Navy and Marine families.
www.tricare.mil/TRIAP
Free, unlimited online counseling available 24/7 for Tricare beneficiaries — a trial program extended through March 20, 2011.
www.herwarhervoice.com
Connect online with other spouses who are going through deployments, too.
www.bluestarfam.org
Peer support from Blue Star Families for families with a deployed service member.
www.HomeFrontInFocus.com
Support and information for Navy spouses, especially individual augmentee spouses.
1.866.504.7092
Call to access services provided by the Dept. of Defense’s Deployment Support and Reintegration Office. They’re especially focused on reservist issues.
www.sofarusa.org
Mental health workers volunteer to provide free confidential counseling for military families.
www.militarychild.org
Information on children and deployment from the Military Child Education Coalition.
www.armyfamiliesonline.org
Info on how children of different ages respond to wartime separation, about halfway down the webpage. (If the link doesn’t work, go to the address above, click on FLO Notes, then the July 2006 issue, and scroll down.)
www.ourmilitarykids.org
Youth sports, fine arts, and tutoring for children of deployed and injured National Guard members and reservists.
www.saluteourservices.org
Support for military kids by military kids from “Kids Serve 2”, because when a soldier goes to war, the whole family goes to war.
www.militaryfamily.org
Send a military child to summer camp with other children going through the same thing through NMFA’s Operation Purple.
www.ausa.org/webpub/DeptFamilyPrograms.nsf
Additional books for military children, parents, and spouses on a variety of topics (from the special challenges of military parenting to careers to the Middle East), a great list from the Association of the US Army.
www.legion.org
Local support and assistance for military families directly affected by current military operations, from the American Legion Family Support programs.
www.uso.org
Support for families from the USO, including childcare at many USO centers. Click on the “Family & Friends” tab.
www.usacares.us
Community support for military service members and their families.
www.operationhomefront.net
Emergency assistance for homefront families from a privately run, civilian charity.
www.operationuplink.org
The VFW collects donated phone cards to help military personnel and hospitalized vets stay in touch with their families.
www.healthjourneys.com
Sells self-help kits that teach practical mind-body techniques for managing stress during deployments and homecomings. If you don’t see them on the home page, click on “shop” and search for “Military Stress Hardiness Optimization Kit” and “Military Welcome Home Pack.”
HOMECOMING & PSYCHOLOGICAL INJURY:
BOOKS & ONLINE RESOURCES
Accepting the Ashes: A Daughter’s Look at Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, by Quynn Elizabeth, www.acceptingtheashes.net
Achilles in Vietnam: Combat Trauma and the Undoing of Character, and Odysseus in America: Combat Trauma and the Trials of Homecoming, by Jonathan Shay, MD, PhD
Acts of War: The Behavior of Men in Battle, by Richard Holmes
Back From the Front: Combat Trauma, Love, and the Family, by Aphrodite Matsakis, PhD
Courage After Fire: Coping Strategies for Returning Soldiers and Their Families, by Keith Armstrong, Suzanne Best PhD, and Paula Domenici PhD
Downrange: To Iraq and Back, by Bridget Cantrell PhD and Chuck Dean
Finding My Way: A Teen’s Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has Experienced Trauma, by Michelle Sherman PhD and DeAnne Sherman, www.seedsofhopebooks.com
Herakles Gone Mad: Rethinking Heroism In an Age of Endless War, by Robert Meagher — how the ancient Greeks helped their soldiers adjust after combat
On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society, by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman
Vietnam Wives: Facing the Challenges of Life with Veterans Suffering Post-Traumatic Stress, by Aphrodite Matsakis, PhD
Welcome Them Home, Help Them Heal: Pastoral Care and Ministry with Service Members Returning from War, by John Sippola, Chaplain, LTC, ret, MDiv; Amy Blumenshine, MSW, MA; Donald Tubesing, PhD, MDiv; Valerie Yancey, PhD, RN
welcomethemhomebook.com
www.militarymentalhealth.org
Worried about the mental health of you or your service member? Take an anonymous, online self-assessment test (self-assessment sometimes helps sufferers realize they need help), then find out where to get that help.
www.militaryonesource.com
1.800.342.9647
Information hotline available 24/7 for military members and their families. Get help for any problem, including free confidential counseling with a civilian therapist outside the military system.
dcoe.health.mil
1.866.966.1020
Information and support for psychological health and traumatic brain injury (TBI) from the Defense Centers of Excellence.
www.jointservicessupport.org
Help and support for all military family members, including National Guard and Reserve families, even DEACTIVATED Guard and Reserve. Click the “Change” tab at the top to select your location and find resources in your area.
www.tricare.mil/TRIAP
Free, unlimited online counseling available 24/7 for Tricare beneficiaries — a trial program extended through March 20, 2011.
www.ecrc.navy.mil
1.877.364.4302
Navy individual augmentee families, don’t endure reintegration alone. Find support, info, and referrals 24/7 from the Expeditionary Combat Readiness Center.
1.800.273.TALK (8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Call anytime, 24/7. The VA also uses this hotline.
www.focusproject.org
Practical stress management for Navy and Marine families.
www.oefoif.va.gov
Support and VA benefits info for returning OIF and OEF veterans, from the Veterans Administration.
www.va.gov/RCS
Support BY and FOR veterans and families through local Vet Centers, including peer support groups for family members.
1.866.504.7092
Call to access services provided by the Dept. of Defense’s Deployment Support and Reintegration Office. They’re especially focused on reservist issues.
www.wblo.org
1.800.833.6262
Problem-solving help and a toll-free hotline from the Pentagon’s Well-Being Liaison Office, for service members, veterans, retirees, and families who have exhausted all other resources.
supportyourvet.org
Help young veterans make the transition from combat to civilian life — info for friends and family.
www.sofarusa.org
Free confidential counseling for military families.
www.operationhomefront.net
Emergency assistance for wounded warriors and their families, plus transitional housing in San Antonio near Brooke Army Medical Center.
www.notalone.com
A unique online support community where combat veterans and their families can share their stories.
livingwithptsd.yuku.com
Vetwives Living With PTSD connect online.
www.vets4vets.us
Iraq and Afghanistan vets helping fellow Iraq and Afghanistan vets through peer support.
www.veteransandfamilies.org
A community network of homecoming support that connects veterans, their families, and employers with the information and support services they need to transition back to civilian life, founded by veterans and their families.
www.cominghomeproject.net
Psychological and spiritual support through counseling, retreats, and community connections.
www.giveanhour.org
A network of civilian mental health professionals volunteer to provide one hour of free counseling per week, outside the military system.
www.nami.org
Local support groups and peer recovery programs for service members and their families outside the military system through the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Click on “Find Support” then “Veterans Resources”.
www.redcross.org
Support for veterans, service members, and families from the American Red Cross.
www.ncptsd.org
www.usuhs.mil/psy/courage.html
Info and help regarding Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, combat stress, reintegration, and other homecoming issues.
www.magisgroup.com
www.deepstreams.org
Heal yourself after deployment by learning self-care techniques.
www.projectsanctuary.us
Therapeutic recreational retreats for military service members and their families, hosted in Colorado by Project Sanctuary.
www.giftfromwithin.org/html/webcasts.html
Podcast offers basic, practical tips for military families living with combat stress and PTSD.
www.killology.com
Info on the psychological cost of learning to kill, from the author of On Killing.
www.marinemoms.us/USMC/vets-post-war.asp
Homecoming resources and post-war coping strategies, a terrific list of helpful materials.
content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/351/1/13
After combat duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, a study on what to expect, from the New England Journal of Medicine.
girightshotline.org
1.877.447.4487
Assistance for military personnel who are seeking a legal discharge or who believe their civil rights may have been violated from the GI Rights Hotline.
www.veteransforamerica.org
www.amvets.org
Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America
Advocacy for veterans and their families.
Yellow Ribbon Fund
One-on-one volunteer mentoring and education, career, and job-hunting guidance for injured veterans after they return home, through the YRF Ambassador Program’s national network of volunteers.
www.ngwrc.org
Support and info for Gulf War veterans of past and current wars, from the National Gulf War Resource Center.
BEREAVED OR PHYSICALLY INJURED:
BOOKS & ONLINE RESOURCES
Military Widow: A Survival Guide, by Joanne Steen and Regina Asaro. Recommended reading for every member of the military community, so that we all know how to help. www.militarywidow.com
Our Hero Handbook: A Guide for Families of Wounded Service Members, written by and for wounded service members and their families. Download a free copy from Walter Reed Army Medical Center. You will need Acrobat Reader to view or download this file.
Wounded Warrior Entitlements Handbook, from Defense Finance and Accounting Services (DFAS). Call 1.800.332.7411 for a copy, or download it at www.dfas.mil/army2/woundedinaction/WWEHandbook_Web_062607.pdf
You will need Acrobat Reader to view or download this file.
You Are Not Alone: Teens Talk About Life After the Loss of a Parent, by Lynne B. Hughes
www.taps.org
www.goldstarwives.org
www.goldstarmoms.com
Support for bereaved families.
www.comfortzonecamp.org
www.rainbows.org
Support for bereaved children and children in crisis.
www.militarywidow.com
Consulting and presentations on military loss by the expert authors of Military Widow.
www.caregiversupportnetwork.com/veterans.htm
In-home care to help caregivers — this is a pilot program from the VA for qualified wartime veterans and may also include help with nursing home costs and assisted living.
Yellow Ribbon Fund
Support for injured service members and their families while they’re recovering at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center and Fort Belvoir Community Hospital in Virginia, and after they return home.
www.operationhomefront.net
Emergency assistance for wounded warriors and their families, plus transitional housing in San Antonio near Brooke Army Medical Center.
www.veteransforamerica.org
www.amvets.org
Disabled American Veterans
Advocacy for veterans and their families.
www.dvbic.org
State-of-the-art TBI clinical care and education from the Defense and Veterans Brain Injury center, including help for family caregivers.
dcoe.health.mil
1.866.966.1020
More TBI support from the Defense Centers of Excellence.
www.wblo.org
1.800.833.6262
Problem-solving help and a toll-free hotline from the Well-Being Liaison Office, for service members, veterans, retirees, and families who have exhausted all other resources.
woundedwarriorregiment.org
1.877.4USMCWW (1.877.487.6299)
Assistance for wounded Marines and sailors attached to Marine units and their families.
www.woundedwarriorproject.org
realwarriors.net
Civilian support for the wounded and families of the wounded and killed.
www.aw2.army.mil
Army support for the wounded and their families, through the Army Wounded Warrior (AW2) program.
www.cause-usa.org
Volunteers donate time and money to help the wounded.
www.warriorcare.mil
Resources for wounded warriors from all service branches.
Wounded Soldier & Family Hotline
800.984.8523
Help for soldiers experiencing problems with their medical care, and their families.
Wounded Warrior Regiment
877.487.6299
Help for wounded Marines and sailors.
Medical Holdover Hotline
866.908.2762
asamra-ombudsman@hqda.army.mil
Help for reservists in medical holdover, and their families.
Heroes to Hometowns
703.692.2054
email
Helping the wounded transition home by setting up a support network for each individual. Vist the website above, or contact Scott Sundsvold at the American Legion’s Heroes to Hometown Military Severely Injured Center.
Project Victory
Rehabilitation services for veterans suffering from traumatic brain injury (TBI).
www.projectsanctuary.us
Therapeutic recreational retreats for military service members and their families, hosted in Colorado by Project Sanctuary.
www.armyfamiliesfirst.army.mil
Ongoing support for bereaved Army families whose soldier has been killed in combat or by accident. Visit online or call toll-free at 866.272.5841.
Additional resources for families and veterans who are psychologically injured are listed above, under Homecoming & Psychological Injury.
RESOURCES FOR
CIVILIAN CONTRACTOR FAMILIES
Civilian contractors make up the second largest foreign “army” in Iraq, doing everything from providing security to driving trucks. Yet there are few support resources for their loved ones back home. As of mid 2009, only a few online resources offered info and support for contractor family and friends. One example:
www.icfsc.com
Many of the other resources in this section, while intended for the military, are helpful to contractors as well.
BOOKS
A Bloody Business: America’s War Zone Contractors and the Occupation of Iraq, by Colonel Gerald Schumacher, US Army Special Forces (retired)
Courage After Fire: Coping Strategies for Returning Soldiers and Their Families, by Keith Armstrong, Suzanne Best PhD, and Paula Domenici PhD
Downrange: To Iraq and Back, by Bridget Cantrell PhD and Chuck Dean
Finding My Way: A Teen’s Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has Experienced Trauma, by Michelle Sherman PhD and DeAnne Sherman, www.seedsofhopebooks.com
Surviving Deployment: A Guide for Military Families, by Karen Pavlicin
Military Widow: A Survival Guide, by Joanne Steen and Regina Asaro
You Are Not Alone: Teens Talk About Life After the Loss of a Parent, by Lynne B. Hughes
ONLINE RESOURCES
www.icfsc.com
Information and online support group for friends and family of civilians working in Iraq, from the Iraq Contractors’ Family Support Center.
www.militarywives.com
www.military.com/spouse
www.marriedtothearmy.com
www.militarymoms.net
www.marineparents.com
www.emilitary.org/milpar.html
Visit these military family support groups — they may welcome the loved ones of contractors as well.
www.militaryonesource.com
While the hotline is for the military, anyone can access most of the info on the website, including tips on deployment, children, finances, and legal issues.
www.militarychild.org
Information on military children and deployment that is just as relevant to the children of contractors.
www.armyfamiliesonline.org
Info on how children of different ages respond to wartime separation, about halfway down the webpage. (If the link doesn’t work, go to the address above, click on FLO Notes, then the July 2006 issue, and scroll down.)
www.comfortzonecamp.org
www.ncptsd.org
Support for bereaved children and children in crisis.
www.nami.org
Local support groups and peer recovery programs through the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Start by clicking on “Find Support” then “Veterans Resources”, and go from there. As a civilian organization, local groups may be in a position to help contractors as well as veterans and active duty.
www.ncptsd.org
www.usuhs.mil/psy/courage.html
Info and help regarding post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), combat stress, reintegration, and other homecoming issues.
www.marinemoms.us/USMC/vets-post-war.asp
Homecoming resources and post-war coping strategies, a terrific list of helpful materials.
WHILE YOUR CONTRACTOR IS AWAY…
One of the best ways to get yourself through the time apart is to connect with other people who are going through the same thing. Give the support groups listed above a try, or start your own.
But even if you’re not a social extrovert, the key is to stay busy with activities that uplift you and help you grow.
**Take a trip
**Set a goal for personal improvement
**Complete unfinished projects
**Start a new hobby
**Learn a new skill — for instance, take a class in karate or CPR or poetry appreciation
**Renew your spiritual life — deployment is often a time of deep searching so go ahead and search!
**Avoid friends or family who bring you down
**Catch up on your reading
**Exercise or practice yoga
**Breathe! Whenever you feel stressed, breathe in deeply, then exhale till your lungs are completely empty. Do this 5 times. It pumps healthy oxygen into your blood and has a soothing effect on the body.
There are more tips, in depth, in Kristin’s article, Deployment Survival Guide.
WAR, PEACE & CIVIL-MILITARY RELATIONS
BOOKS & ONLINE RESOURCES
AWOL: The Unexcused Absence of America’s Upper Classes from Military Service — and How It Hurts Our Country, by Kathy Roth-Douquet and Frank Schaeffer
The Battle for Peace, by General Tony Zinni
The Book of War: Sun-Tzu’s The Art of Warfare & Karl von Clausewitz’s On War
Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies, by Jared Diamond
Here, Bullet, war poetry by Iraq veteran Brian Turner
One Bullet Away: The Making of a Marine Officer, by Nathaniel Fick
On the Origins of War and the Preservation of Peace, by Donald Kagan
Operation Homecoming: Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Home Front, in the Words of US Troops and Their Families, edited by Andrew Carroll, a project of the National Endowment for the Arts
A Quaker Declaration of War, by Chuck Fager
Soldiers and Civilians: The Civil-Military Gap and American National Security, edited by Peter D. Feaver and Richard H. Kohn
The Soldiers’ Tale: Bearing Witness to Modern War, by Samuel Hynes
The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness, by Simon Wiesenthal, with essays by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, Mary Gordon, and fifty others
War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning, by Chris Hedges
www.pritzkermilitarylibrary.org
The Pritzker Military Library in Chicago brings the civilian and military communities together for lectures and research.
www.marines.mil
U.S. Marine Corps info.
www.army.mil
U.S. Army info.
www.navy.mil
U.S. Navy info.
www.af.mil
U.S. Air Force info.
www.arng.army.mil
Army National Guard info.
www.ang.af.mil
Air National Guard info.
www.goarmy.com/chaplain
www.chapnet.army.mil
Army Chaplains info.
www.chaplain.navy.mil
Navy Chaplains info.
www.usafhc.af.mil
Air Force Chaplains info.
www.firstworldwar.com
World War I info, including the very powerful poetry of that war’s soldier/poets.
www.quakerhouse.org
Support and assistance for conscientious objectors who are in the military.
www.fnvw.org
Friends for a Non-Violent World, a Quaker organization, provides education in alternatives to violence.
www.rswr.org
Right Sharing of World Resources is a Quaker organization that tackles two of the biggest sources of violence, economic injustice and hopeless poverty, by supporting grassroots economic development.
www.usip.org
United States Institute of Peace, funded by Congress to help prevent and resolve violent international conflicts, promote post-conflict stability and democratic transformations, and increase peacebuilding capacity worldwide.
www.ceip.org
Carnegie Endowment for International Peace offers intelligent analysis and promotes cooperation between nations.